Encouraging Siblings To Build Strong Relationships: What to Do When They Don't Agree

As parents, all of us like it when our children get along and don't argue and fight.  It is great when we see them reach out and help one another.  It is touching when we see them comfort one another in times of sadness, pain, or discouragement.  However, differences of opinions and disagreements are naturally apart of our lives, so there are going to be times when siblings don't agree.  How they learn to handle those disagreements is crucial.  It is a part of a foundation they are building in their relationships with each other, as well as, a way of solving problems in all areas of their lives. 

Parents play a key role as siblings learn to control and work with their anger, frustration, and disappointment.

When these tense situations occur, emotions are usually if not always running on high.  The first step is to de-escalate the situation by helping then to move from their emotional survival mode to one of calm power.  Some ways to do that are:

• Deep breaths.  Deep breathing exercises can be very calming.  It is most effective to inhale slowly through the nose with the tongue at the roof of the mouth behind the front teeth to the count of five, hold the breath for the slow count of three, and then exhale through the mouth slowly to the count of five. Repeat at least three times.  This helps to get more oxygen to the brain so that it is possible  to think more clearly and logically.  
• Drink water.  Drinking water can be very helpful.  More than likely they are dehydrated when they are emotional.  Drinking water slowly is more beneficial that in large gulps.  Holding water in the mouth for a short time before swallowing also helps to hydrate the body more quickly.  Water also helps the brain to work more effectively and efficiently.  
• Brain Gym activities.  
• Listen to music.  There are many kinds of music.  It is important to select music that will have a calming affect rather than music that will excite.  
• Quiet time.  This can mean different things to different people.  Make sure it is a time with little stimulus for excitement. 
• Write in journal.  Writing can be very calming to many people.  Sometimes it works really well to write about the situation.  
• Take a walk.  Sometimes a change of scenery helps.  The act of walking can be calming.
• Yoga-Yoga helps to recenter and become more calm.
• Visualize.  See in the minds' eye a calm, relaxing scene or scenario.  See yourself there.
• Laugh.  Watch or listen to something funny. Laughter can be a great way to break tension and relax.
• Repeat or think of a calming word or phrase.  You may have a word or phrase that is a key to help you relax.

Once those involved are calmer, they will be more able to listen, think clearly, and move into a problem solving situation that will be beneficial to all.

"Encouraging strong, healthy relationships between siblings can be one of the greatest gifts parents can give their children."  

Next week:  Working together to solve problems.

Testing-Tips for Relieving Stress and Increasing Confidence

Spring is officially here! The grass is greener, blossoms are in full array, and the weather is warmer!  Most spring breaks are over and students are headed for the final lap of the school year (or term).  It is time to complete all projects and testing is at hand.  Too many times the words "testing" bring stress.  As we know stress left to itself does not help us, in fact, it can hinder and be unhealthy. There are things we can do to help alleviate stress and be more powerful and confident.  Here are some tips to assist:

• Several nights of good rest.  We all behave differently when we are sleepy or tired. Adults usually become sluggish when tired while children tend to overcompensate and speed up. (In a study involving 2,463 children aged 6-15, children with sleep problems were more likely to be inattentive, hyperactive, impulsive, and display oppositional behaviors.) Do your best to insure a good night of sleep and, if possible, several nights as you move into testing time.
• Eat breakfast. Even though breakfast time can be hectic and rushed, it is important to have breakfast. Two rules for breakfast are:
• Never skip it!
• It must include protein! 

          If you and/or your children do not like the typical breakfast food? That is fine. Last night's left                 over tuna casserole or a peanut butter sandwich will be fine. For other suggestions for                         breakfast see "Healthy Breakfast Ideas" under Topics.

•  Sip water-stay hydrated.  Sipping water is more effective than drinking in gulps. Some of the benefits of sipping water:
• All academic skills are improved when we are adequately hydrated. 
• Water intake is vital before test-taking or at other times when possible stress is anticipated. (Has your mouth ever gotten dry when you are nervous?)
• Sipping water helps to improve concentration. 
• It improves mental and physical coordination.
• Movement-Our bodies were made to move.  Have you noticed that when you feel tired or bored, you feel better and more alert when you get up and move around-even if it is just a walk to get a drink of water.  The  advise to take a walk (or run around) is often given when we need a break, to calm down, or to get our "creative juices" flowing.  Any kind of movement is helpful, but some may be better than others.  Brain Gym activities are good ones and can be specialized. (See test-taking and Brain Gym in "topics" for details.)  Yoga moves are also suggested. The important thing is to move.  As you do, you can let go of stress and prepare your brain to work easier and better.
• Deep breaths- Slow deep breaths can be beneficial as we calm our minds and bodies.  This helps get more oxygen moving in your body. The most effective way:
• Take breath in slowly through the nose (with your tongue on the roof of your mouth).
• Fill up the lower lungs (If you are raising your shoulders, you aren't getting it deep.)
• Hold it while you count slowly.  
• Release the breath slowly through your mouth.  

         Do this until you feel a shift or change. It should be at least 3-5 times.   If you do positive                      affirmations, this is a good time to use them.  

         Now is a good time to begin to practice and prepare.  Try to practice some or all of these tips every day-so they will be familiar when you feel extra tension.

Stressed Out? More Tips on Releasing Stress.

Do you ever feel like this kitten?  

Here are some tips to avoid and/or relieve those feelings:

• Maintain more peace by beginning and/or setting aside time each day for meditation-a quiet time for you. Begin with noticing your breathing.  Allow your mind to get into the natural rhythm of your body.
• Treat your mind and body with love and respect.
• Drink plenty of water.  Stay hydrated.
• Get adequate rest.  Sleep deprivation affects our mind and body.
• Exercise regularly.  
• Brain Gym movements.
• Engage socially.  Simply talking to people face to face can release hormones that reduce stress.
• Move. Physical activity plays a key role in stress management-especially activities that require moving both arms and both legs.  Focus on how it feels.  Focused movement helps get the nervous system back into balance.
• Get a massage. Body work helps to relieve stress held in the tissues of the body.
• Laugh-a good deep belly laugh can do wonders. Watch a funny movie or do things which result in laughing. Laughter results in chemical changes in your body.
• Listen to soothing music. Breathe deeply and allow yourself to relax.
• Limit internet and phone use.  They can increase tension.

Brain Gym Exercises in a Hungarian Primary School By Ivett Juhász, primary school teacher

Article from  Educational Kinesiology Newsletter

Brain Gym Exercises in a Hungarian Primary School By Ivett Juhász, primary school teacher

The Brain Gym® program develops learning through natural movements that can be easily learned. The movements have a positive influence on thinking and learning skills. One of the main goals of Brain Gym is to achieve stress-free whole brain learning. Below, I describe my experiences of Brain Gym exercises in my classroom and then a small study I conducted comparing my class to a non-Brain Gym classroom. Duration: 9 Sep 2013 – 7 March 2014 Ages: 7-8 years (Grade One) Headcount: 20 in the Brain Gym class and 20 in the non-Brain Gym class Location: Hungarian primary school I. PRACTICES Brain Gym exercises The learning and adaptation of the Brain Gym activities began in early September and lasted approximately six months. I demonstrated the exercises first and then worked with each child 1:1. Finally, we all practiced and performed the movements together in the class. The students learned 20 of the 26 total Brain Gym activities in the following chronological order: Sipping Water, Think of an ‘X’, The Cross Crawl, Lazy 8s, Belly Breathing, The Thinking Cap, The Positive Points, The Double Doodle, Arm Activation, The Gravity Glider, The Elephant, Neck Rolls, Balance Buttons, The Energy Yawn, The Owl, Brain Buttons, Hook-ups, Earth Buttons, Space Buttons and The Grounder. Two exercises caused difficulties for the 7-8 year olds and required on average 5-10 minutes daily practice for 6-8 days until everyone managed to perform them correctly: The Cross Crawl – Many had initial difficulties crossing their opposite arms and legs continuously. The Gravity Glider – Sixteen out of twenty students fell as they could not bend forward while being stable. Classroom adaptation The Brain Gym movements were led at the beginning of and during classes every day. I did the exercises along with my students. The activities were selected to suit the particular class while considering the development of learning abilities and skills. The students could drink water in the class and refill their half-litre bottle as needed. During classwork, the students adapted the exercises independently in accordance with their learning abilities. This process evolved by the beginning of December and it continuously went on in the class and even at home. Among the students, the most popular Brain Gym exercises were the Cross Crawl (for ten students), followed by the Owl (for five students), and the Elephant (for three students). Also, one student mentioned the Energy Yawn and another the Thinking Cap as the favourite form of exercises. II. INITIAL CONCLUSION A.  Regarding behaviour, I noticed that the students became more patient, tolerant, balanced, and adaptable. B.  Regarding learning capabilities, I believe that the students improved their problem-solving skills, increased their abilities to better concentration, learned more effectively, and provided quality work. To read about Ivett's experiment, conclusions and results, click here for article and here for the supporting appendices (Appendix I, Appendix II, Appendix III, and Appendix IV).

Tips for Doing Things Better and Easier-Especially When Under Stress Stress

#1. Sipping water: Sipping the water is more effective than drinking in gulps. Some of the benefits of sipping water:

• All academic skills are improved when we are adequately hydrated.
  
• Water intake is vital before test-taking or at other times when possible stress is anticipated. Has your mouth ever gotten dry when you are nervous?
• Sipping water helps to improve concentration.
• It improves mental and physical coordination.

Brain Gym Helps Keep Us on Our Learning Track

Throughout our lives, we are learning new information, skills, behaviors, jobs, etc.. We often think of children or young people when we think of learning. In reality each of us is learning our entire lifetime.

As I have been asked to come into classrooms to teach children about Brain Gym, I often begin by drawing a 8 on it's side (infinity sign or in Brain Gym a "lazy 8") on the board. I ask them what they think it is. I hope that they will think of a track (race track). I call it a learning track. Then I ask them to think of a time when they learned something hard and how they felt as they tried to master it. They usually identify their feelings as sad, mad, frustrated, want to quit, etc. When I ask if they like having those feelings, they tell me the don't, because they aren't happy and don't do well. Then I tell them that doing Brain Gym Activities can help them to get back on the "learning track" and away from those feelings. As I ask them if they still find the task they thought was hard to be hard for them now. They say it isn't.

When we are on our "learning track", the tasks that were hard can become easier. In fact, in time, we don't think about them being hard. Life is like that. We are always encountering new things that may seem hard at first. When we learn to do them, they are easy and we move on to learning something else. As we make sure we have water and do Brain Gym Activities like Brain Buttons, Cross Crawls, Hook-ups, Lazy 8s, Thinking Caps, Positive Points, etc., they help us stay on our "Learning Track" and we can learn easier and with less stress.

New School Year, New Beginnings! Plan for success!

Here it is September 1! It's hard to believe how quickly the days, weeks, and even months come and go. Yet they do. For those of you whose lives include school, it is a time of new beginnings. The new school year has just begun or will be beginning. With that comes new teachers, students, clothes, supplies, friends, practice and game schedules, routines, etc. These new adventures are exciting and fun, but a result can be more things to do with less time to do them. As you think about your schedules, be sure to remember to plan for the basics that help you and your children successful. Some considerations are:

• Get adequate rest.
• Eat healthy food
• Drink plenty of water
• Exercise daily
• Develop and maintain a routine to support success

Brain Gym Activities® Give them a try?

Are you learning something new? Are you trying to focus and concentrate better? Do you seem to be a little "off" and have a struggle getting into it?  Since each of us has our own unique rhythm and timing for learning, we can become frustrated at times. Brain Gym Activities help us to do our best. 

Summer Break: Creating the Working Model with your Children

Now that you have your objectives and plan, you are ready to present them to your children, and to invite them to become a part in creating the actual working model. There are several things you might want to consider when you present the ideas.

• Bring to their attention the benefits they will receive-what they will get from it.
• Allow them to have some voice in the planning. You have your ideas and some of the things may be non-negotiable, however, they will have really good ideas, too. As you acknowledge their ideas with praise, they will offer more ideas and your planning sessions will be more and more productive.
• Be sure the plan is realistic.
• Build in some flexibility for days that will be different.
• Evaluate. Set a time to look at how the day(s)-week(s)-are going. It might be at the end of the first day, couple of days, week, or ... Are your objectives being met? Ask the children their opinion first. Be sure to praise their comments and the things that have gone well. If there are things that haven't gone well, ask how they think you, as a family, can improve them. Try different things. Sometimes it might be wise to allow your family to try suggestions that you don't think will work. The results will be that you are surprised as they do or it can be a great learning opportunity as they see the ideas didn't work and can find a different way to approach the situation. Discourage anyone from saying, "I told you so!"
• Reward all in some way for the successes that you are experiencing.

When children are a part of the decision making, they gain confidence, learn to brainstorm and problem solve. The result will be that they follow the plan-their plan-more easily.

Enjoy and have fun as you work together!!!

Water, So Simple, but So Vital!

One of the simplest things we can do to ensure we do our best is drink enough water to be adequately hydrated. Even though it is simple, it is often challenging to drink the water we need or even to remember to drink when we are busy.

When we have adequate hydration, all of our academic skills are improved. Water intake is extremely important when stress is anticipated such as before test taking. Water improves concentration, alleviates fatigue, improves mental and physical coordination, and enhances communication and social skills.

Why is water such a big deal?

About two-thirds of our body is made up of water which is an excellent conductor of electric energy. It facilitates electrical currents in our body that are conducted between our brain and sensory organs. All of the electrical and chemical actions of our brain and central nervous system depend on this.

Several things deplete our body of water leaving our cells dehydrated. One of these is stress-both psychological and environmental. Another is working with electrical equipment, such as computers, TV, etc. We may think that we are getting water through food or other drinks, while in reality, we are eating processed foods that don’t contain water and, like caffeinated drinks, may be dehydrating our bodies. When we are consuming these items, we may need to drink more water rather than depend on them for the fluid that our body needs.

As you prepare to do your best, be sure that your water intake is adequate. The most efficient way to have the water we drink absorbed is when it is taken frequently and in small amounts at room temperature.

Tomorrow: Hook-ups invite calm while focusing and organizing scattered attention.