Encouraging Siblings To Build Strong Relationships: What to Do When They Don't Agree

As parents, all of us like it when our children get along and don't argue and fight.  It is great when we see them reach out and help one another.  It is touching when we see them comfort one another in times of sadness, pain, or discouragement.  However, differences of opinions and disagreements are naturally apart of our lives, so there are going to be times when siblings don't agree.  How they learn to handle those disagreements is crucial.  It is a part of a foundation they are building in their relationships with each other, as well as, a way of solving problems in all areas of their lives. 

Parents play a key role as siblings learn to control and work with their anger, frustration, and disappointment.

When these tense situations occur, emotions are usually if not always running on high.  The first step is to de-escalate the situation by helping then to move from their emotional survival mode to one of calm power.  Some ways to do that are:

• Deep breaths.  Deep breathing exercises can be very calming.  It is most effective to inhale slowly through the nose with the tongue at the roof of the mouth behind the front teeth to the count of five, hold the breath for the slow count of three, and then exhale through the mouth slowly to the count of five. Repeat at least three times.  This helps to get more oxygen to the brain so that it is possible  to think more clearly and logically.  
• Drink water.  Drinking water can be very helpful.  More than likely they are dehydrated when they are emotional.  Drinking water slowly is more beneficial that in large gulps.  Holding water in the mouth for a short time before swallowing also helps to hydrate the body more quickly.  Water also helps the brain to work more effectively and efficiently.  
• Brain Gym activities.  
• Listen to music.  There are many kinds of music.  It is important to select music that will have a calming affect rather than music that will excite.  
• Quiet time.  This can mean different things to different people.  Make sure it is a time with little stimulus for excitement. 
• Write in journal.  Writing can be very calming to many people.  Sometimes it works really well to write about the situation.  
• Take a walk.  Sometimes a change of scenery helps.  The act of walking can be calming.
• Yoga-Yoga helps to recenter and become more calm.
• Visualize.  See in the minds' eye a calm, relaxing scene or scenario.  See yourself there.
• Laugh.  Watch or listen to something funny. Laughter can be a great way to break tension and relax.
• Repeat or think of a calming word or phrase.  You may have a word or phrase that is a key to help you relax.

Once those involved are calmer, they will be more able to listen, think clearly, and move into a problem solving situation that will be beneficial to all.

"Encouraging strong, healthy relationships between siblings can be one of the greatest gifts parents can give their children."  

Next week:  Working together to solve problems.

Stressed Out? More Tips on Releasing Stress.

Do you ever feel like this kitten?  

Here are some tips to avoid and/or relieve those feelings:

• Maintain more peace by beginning and/or setting aside time each day for meditation-a quiet time for you. Begin with noticing your breathing.  Allow your mind to get into the natural rhythm of your body.
• Treat your mind and body with love and respect.
• Drink plenty of water.  Stay hydrated.
• Get adequate rest.  Sleep deprivation affects our mind and body.
• Exercise regularly.  
• Brain Gym movements.
• Engage socially.  Simply talking to people face to face can release hormones that reduce stress.
• Move. Physical activity plays a key role in stress management-especially activities that require moving both arms and both legs.  Focus on how it feels.  Focused movement helps get the nervous system back into balance.
• Get a massage. Body work helps to relieve stress held in the tissues of the body.
• Laugh-a good deep belly laugh can do wonders. Watch a funny movie or do things which result in laughing. Laughter results in chemical changes in your body.
• Listen to soothing music. Breathe deeply and allow yourself to relax.
• Limit internet and phone use.  They can increase tension.

Brain Gym Exercises in a Hungarian Primary School By Ivett Juhász, primary school teacher

Article from  Educational Kinesiology Newsletter

Brain Gym Exercises in a Hungarian Primary School By Ivett Juhász, primary school teacher

The Brain Gym® program develops learning through natural movements that can be easily learned. The movements have a positive influence on thinking and learning skills. One of the main goals of Brain Gym is to achieve stress-free whole brain learning. Below, I describe my experiences of Brain Gym exercises in my classroom and then a small study I conducted comparing my class to a non-Brain Gym classroom. Duration: 9 Sep 2013 – 7 March 2014 Ages: 7-8 years (Grade One) Headcount: 20 in the Brain Gym class and 20 in the non-Brain Gym class Location: Hungarian primary school I. PRACTICES Brain Gym exercises The learning and adaptation of the Brain Gym activities began in early September and lasted approximately six months. I demonstrated the exercises first and then worked with each child 1:1. Finally, we all practiced and performed the movements together in the class. The students learned 20 of the 26 total Brain Gym activities in the following chronological order: Sipping Water, Think of an ‘X’, The Cross Crawl, Lazy 8s, Belly Breathing, The Thinking Cap, The Positive Points, The Double Doodle, Arm Activation, The Gravity Glider, The Elephant, Neck Rolls, Balance Buttons, The Energy Yawn, The Owl, Brain Buttons, Hook-ups, Earth Buttons, Space Buttons and The Grounder. Two exercises caused difficulties for the 7-8 year olds and required on average 5-10 minutes daily practice for 6-8 days until everyone managed to perform them correctly: The Cross Crawl – Many had initial difficulties crossing their opposite arms and legs continuously. The Gravity Glider – Sixteen out of twenty students fell as they could not bend forward while being stable. Classroom adaptation The Brain Gym movements were led at the beginning of and during classes every day. I did the exercises along with my students. The activities were selected to suit the particular class while considering the development of learning abilities and skills. The students could drink water in the class and refill their half-litre bottle as needed. During classwork, the students adapted the exercises independently in accordance with their learning abilities. This process evolved by the beginning of December and it continuously went on in the class and even at home. Among the students, the most popular Brain Gym exercises were the Cross Crawl (for ten students), followed by the Owl (for five students), and the Elephant (for three students). Also, one student mentioned the Energy Yawn and another the Thinking Cap as the favourite form of exercises. II. INITIAL CONCLUSION A.  Regarding behaviour, I noticed that the students became more patient, tolerant, balanced, and adaptable. B.  Regarding learning capabilities, I believe that the students improved their problem-solving skills, increased their abilities to better concentration, learned more effectively, and provided quality work. To read about Ivett's experiment, conclusions and results, click here for article and here for the supporting appendices (Appendix I, Appendix II, Appendix III, and Appendix IV).

Cross-Crawls Help Learners Memorize and Apply Reading Strategies

Recently, children in the school reading lab were memorizing the "Fab 4" reading strategies. To do this they learned a key word for each step and the strategy which explained what it meant. The goal was for each of student to memorize, understand, and be able to use the strategy. To do this the children began by doing Cross-Crawls. Then they worked on memorizing the strategy and what it meant. Some of the strategies were longer, so when the teacher felt the children were having more difficulty, she would have them stand up and do more Cross-Crawls to help to refocus before continuing. As they did Cross-Crawls and learned, they also were able to apply the strategies they had learned . She said it was "a fabulous time of learning".

Experience: Up Close and Personal!

Lately I've had a number of things working in my mind. Yesterday they seemed to be adding up more. This morning after a short but good sleep, I still was feeling the affects. Being the persistent person that I am, I have pushed forward, rather than take my own advice to take a few minutes to do some Brain Gym.

Finally, at school this morning when I went to put my lunch in the frige in the faculty lunchroom. yet found myself in the workroom ready to put my lunch in my mail box, I immediately said. "It's time for Brain Gym!"

So I came back to my room, did some Cross Crawls, Hook-Ups, Lazy 8s, and Positive Points. Now it's easier to focus and to be in the present.

Brain Gym Helps Keep Us on Our Learning Track

Throughout our lives, we are learning new information, skills, behaviors, jobs, etc.. We often think of children or young people when we think of learning. In reality each of us is learning our entire lifetime.

As I have been asked to come into classrooms to teach children about Brain Gym, I often begin by drawing a 8 on it's side (infinity sign or in Brain Gym a "lazy 8") on the board. I ask them what they think it is. I hope that they will think of a track (race track). I call it a learning track. Then I ask them to think of a time when they learned something hard and how they felt as they tried to master it. They usually identify their feelings as sad, mad, frustrated, want to quit, etc. When I ask if they like having those feelings, they tell me the don't, because they aren't happy and don't do well. Then I tell them that doing Brain Gym Activities can help them to get back on the "learning track" and away from those feelings. As I ask them if they still find the task they thought was hard to be hard for them now. They say it isn't.

When we are on our "learning track", the tasks that were hard can become easier. In fact, in time, we don't think about them being hard. Life is like that. We are always encountering new things that may seem hard at first. When we learn to do them, they are easy and we move on to learning something else. As we make sure we have water and do Brain Gym Activities like Brain Buttons, Cross Crawls, Hook-ups, Lazy 8s, Thinking Caps, Positive Points, etc., they help us stay on our "Learning Track" and we can learn easier and with less stress.

Brain Gym® In Classrooms

• Last week I went to my daughter's classroom to do some Dominance Profiles. I was in for a treat when I arrived at the beginning of the day. After the Pledge to the flag, they immediately did Hook-Ups-parts 1 and 2. Then she asked them what other Brain Gym Activity they felt they should do that day. They said Cross Crawls. After doing them, they sat down and began their work. It was easy to see that Brain Gym Activities are a part of their daily routine. It only took a few minutes-maybe 2 or 3-to help them find their own unique learning timing. She had told me earlier that she has seen some of them doing Brain Gym on their own at various times during the day.
• As the counselor at an elementary school, one of my duties is to have children come to my room when they are having difficulty following directions and/or staying on task. This morning I had such a visitor, a first grader. He worked a few minutes, then said he needed to do brain exercises. He then stood up and began doing Cross Crawls. He continued to tell me that this would help his brain and him to work because his teacher had them do them in class. After doing about 10 on both sides, he said that he had done enough and was ready to work. He sat down and began to write again.
• It is exciting to see 6 and 10 year olds learning to take care of their well-being.

Brain Gym Activities® Give them a try?

Are you learning something new? Are you trying to focus and concentrate better? Do you seem to be a little "off" and have a struggle getting into it?  Since each of us has our own unique rhythm and timing for learning, we can become frustrated at times. Brain Gym Activities help us to do our best. 

Summer Break: Creating the Working Model with your Children

Now that you have your objectives and plan, you are ready to present them to your children, and to invite them to become a part in creating the actual working model. There are several things you might want to consider when you present the ideas.

• Bring to their attention the benefits they will receive-what they will get from it.
• Allow them to have some voice in the planning. You have your ideas and some of the things may be non-negotiable, however, they will have really good ideas, too. As you acknowledge their ideas with praise, they will offer more ideas and your planning sessions will be more and more productive.
• Be sure the plan is realistic.
• Build in some flexibility for days that will be different.
• Evaluate. Set a time to look at how the day(s)-week(s)-are going. It might be at the end of the first day, couple of days, week, or ... Are your objectives being met? Ask the children their opinion first. Be sure to praise their comments and the things that have gone well. If there are things that haven't gone well, ask how they think you, as a family, can improve them. Try different things. Sometimes it might be wise to allow your family to try suggestions that you don't think will work. The results will be that you are surprised as they do or it can be a great learning opportunity as they see the ideas didn't work and can find a different way to approach the situation. Discourage anyone from saying, "I told you so!"
• Reward all in some way for the successes that you are experiencing.

When children are a part of the decision making, they gain confidence, learn to brainstorm and problem solve. The result will be that they follow the plan-their plan-more easily.

Enjoy and have fun as you work together!!!

Brain Gym® Works for Students, Especially Cross Crawls

Students who participated in Reading and Math Academy at Sunset View Elementary the last school year were encouraged to raise the level of their work by increasing their energy, excitement and enthusiasm to learn. Although our students were eager at the beginning of their sessions to work hard, we found that by the middle of the session students’ focus and concentration were fading. I asked, “What can we do to maintain the mental stamina that our students need to accomplish their work for a 30-minute session of reading or math?”

Brain Gym movements came to our rescue! Earlier during the year Sara Banister instructed the Academy tutors on the purpose of Brain Gym and encouraged us to use it in the tutoring lab. We were very pleased with the results after using Brain Gym. The Cross Crawls where students touch the opposite knee with the opposite elbow and alternate, making sure they cross their upper body, seemed to be the most effective brain gym movement that improved our students focus and encouraged positive student behavior. It also increased our students’ energy and enthusiasm for learning. Applying Brain Gym in the middle of a reading session took very little time, required no set-up, and was used whenever needed. How simple is that? Brain Gym is movement with purpose and it works! Teri Yamada

Cross Crawls: Prepare for Tests; Let go of Frustration

To engage the whole brain before beginning testing, do some Cross Crawls. They help recall information, resolve problems, and remain calm.

Have you ever gotten frustrated and the harder you try, the more you seem to make mistakes? When that happens, you are in what is called "survival mode”. You are not accessing your whole brain. If you will do some Cross Crawls, it can help you get the whole brain working again. Your frustration will diminish and you will be able to perform easier and more accurately.

I saw this recently as I worked with one of my tutoring students. As he worked on some exercises, he became tense and began making more mistakes increasing his frustration. I asked him to do some Cross Crawls. After he finished, he sat down and was able to proceed easily.

Cross Crawls

Bring one leg and opposite arm together. Then bring the other leg and its opposite arm together. Repeat rhythmically for about one minute.