Self-Respect

Self-respect is a determining factor in our self-worth.  To have healthy self-worth, it is necessary to respect ourselves.  What does self-respect mean to us?  What requirements do we have to have in order to respect ourselves?  Are they reasonable?  (Remember we don't have to be perfect.  No one is.)  Are they the same every day?  Are they the same for us as they are for others?  Can we consider respecting ourselves just because we are (exist)?

It is essential to know and remember who we are.   Each of us is one of a kind, a unique individual with talents, skills, and qualities that no one else has in the same combination.  We are wonderful, valuable, and woth-while.  We are enough, we have enough, and we do enough.  We make a difference in our lives and in the lives of those around us.

It is vital that we respect and honor ourselves.  We really do deserve both.  As we do, we will walk taller, hold our head higher, walk with a bounce in our step, smile wider, our eyes will sparkle, our voice will be stronger, and our thoughts and comments will be uplifting.  When we have self-respect, it is visible in all that we do, say, and thi

Sara Banister

underthelearningtree.blogspot,com

You Hold the Power

We determine whether to be happy or not and how much.  So many times we say, "He made me mad." or "She made me feel bad ."  The truth is we are the ones who choose our reaction to things which people say, people do, and things that happen. Much of the time we aren't really aware of the power we have. It depends on what we want, how much responsibility we are willing to take, and how determined we are to create our feelings of value and self-worth.   How we feel about our value/worth plays a significant role in directing our paths and making those choices.  What are you choosing?  You hold the power!

                                                                                Sara Banister

                                         underthelearningtree.blogspot.com

It's what we truly believe that counts!

 

This is so true.  We can say whatever, but when we are honest with ourselves, it is what we believe we are that rings true in our hearts.  

Sara Banister

underthelearningtree.blogspot.com

Who Are You, Really?

This is pretty profound when we stop to think about it.  How often do we hold ourselves back because we see ourselves as inadequate in one way or another?
Let's do things a little differently for an hour, a day, or a week.
When we find ourselves thinking of why something won't work, let's change our point of view.  Let's immediately drop that conversation and think of the reasons it will work.
Suggestion:  write them down to reflect on.

Sara Banister

underthelearningtree.blogspot.com

Event: Introduction to Brain Gym Workshop

Introduction to Brain Gym

Fun and Empowering

 Learn to Do Things Easier and Better

Doing Our Best vs Trying

NEW!  INTRODUCTION TO BRAIN GYM® 

SATURDAY, JUNE 25, 2016

8:30 am-3 pm

Introduction to Brain Gym® is a 6 hour course (1 day) for those who have had little or no experience with Brain Gym® but would like to learn more.   Come experience Brain Gym® and obtain skills that will enhance your performance and bring personal power into your life!

Cost $99.

• Early Bird or Buddy Discounts available when registering 30 days early accompanied by a non-refundable deposit of $15:  Cost $89
• Both Early Bird or Buddy Discounts when registering 30 days early accompanied by non-refundable deposit of $15:   Cost $83

Registrations for discounts due on or before: Monday, May 30, 2016

Full amount due on or before:  Saturday, June 18, 2016

To register email: underthelearningtree@gmail.com

Who Are You?

You are the best and most perfect you. 

There is no one else in existence with your special qualities!

Sara Banister

underthelearningtree.blogspot.com

Teaching and Guiding Children As They Learn to "Work Out" Differences

Encouraging Siblings to Build Strong Relationships: Conflict Resolution

In every relationship disagreements/conflicts occur.  Sometimes they are minor and sometimes they are "out of control".  What can we do when disagreements or conflicts arise?  How can we handle those situations? Sometimes we may be tempted to ignore them and hope they go away.  The truth is problems don't go away. They usually get worse.  The best solution is to face the problem, so it can be sorted out as soon as possible.   

One of the best ways to solve a disagreement is to find a way to help the unhappy people find a win/win in the situation.  This solution finds the opportunity for each person to get something they want in a fair way.  In order for this approach to be successful each person must be willing to work together and stay as calm as possible.  Using the conflict resolution method there are four steps to successfully resolve conflicts. First each person must understand about the problem.  Next avoid making the situation worse and encourage working together.  Lastly, find a solution to the conflict.  While this method is not always easy with practice, patience, and perseverance siblings can learn to work together in harmony.

Understand the Conflict.  To successfully resolve a problem, each individual involved needs to understand what the disagreement is about, including the mediator.  Communication is a key factor in this step.  Each person needs to be encouraged to describe and discuss his/her feelings and perspective without being interrupted or belittled.

Listening is a large part of communication.  When a person listens to others, it shows respect and that he/she has a desire to really understand the way the other sees the situation.  When he/she listens and tries to understand their perspective, it helps to find a resolution to the disagreement/conflict.  While listening, it is helpful to use active listening techniques such as looking at the person talking, nodding the head acknowledging that the person is heard, or repeating what the person understood in their words to be sure they heard what was being said.

Avoid Making the Situation Worse.   One important step in resolving conflict is to ensure that the situation does not get worse.  To accomplish this step, it is important to establish and maintain some basic rules in communication.  These rules might include:

• No put-downs.
• No mean, nasty remarks that would hurt someone's feelings.
• No screaming or shouting.  All communication needs to be in controlled voices.  
• No hitting, kicking, pushing, or any kind of hurting the other person's body.

Work Together.  Using "I" statements is a way that can help individuals to work together more amicably. Statements such as "I feel hurt when..." or "I hear what you are saying, but I feel ..." followed by the way he/she feels, without blaming others helps to work towards more understanding of each persons' feelings and perspective.  An example is:  "I feel sad and afraid when you shout." rather than "Your shouting makes me sad and afraid."  Those communicating should take turns speaking and it may be wise to determine a time limit for each person before beginning so that everyone gets a fair opportunity.  The communication can move more smoothly when everyone keeps their voices down.  In some instances, it can be more effective for each person to write the problem as he/she sees it and then read what the other has written.  

Find a Solution.  Once each person has the opportunity to share his/her feelings and the disagreement/conflict is understood by everyone, it is time to begin to brainstorm together to think of ways to find a solution.  It is best to think of many possibilities to ensure that every option is considered.  Sometimes the one that seems unlikely or not possible at first could turn out to be one that works.  It is important that each person and their contribution be shown respect.  It is also a good idea for someone to write the suggestions down as they are given so that the conflict can be resolved successfully.

The possible outcomes are: win/win; win/lose and lose/lose.  Win/win is when all are comfortable and pleased with the outcome.  Win/lose is when one gets what they want and others do not get what they want. Lose/lose is when no one gets what they want.  Once a solution that all have agreed on is reached, it is the responsibility of each person to carry out his/her part.  

This process is not easy, sometimes the process needs to begin again to try to improve it.  Some of the steps may need to be practiced in other settings.  Learning to use "I" statements can be an effective way of communicating in most situations to avoid offending others and as a statement of power for the individual using them.  Taking the time to listen to what others are really saying and meaning can keep things from escalating into a bigger problem,  It is always wise to avoid making matters worse when possible.  

The important thing is to not give up!  The more everyone practices these steps the better they get at using them and the quicker and easier they can find solutions--especially win/win solutions!

"Encouraging strong, healthy relationships between siblings can be one of the greatest gifts parents can give their children."  

Encouraging Siblings to Build Strong Relationships with Each Other

Learning life skills and building relationships is a life-long journey.  While we learn these skills in all aspects of our lives, the home and family is the most influential and powerful place to develop and mature. As our children grow, we are extremely busy teaching and helping them to develop many important skills and characteristics.  Because so much is happening, one area that sometimes falls aside and doesn't get a great deal of attention is the development of strong, binding relationships between siblings. We know the parent-child relationship is vital.  The nature of this relationship is that parents teach and help the child grow so that the child becomes more self-sufficient and independent eventually forming families of their own.  The dynamics and nature of the roles change over the years.  Unlike the parent-child relationship, the role of siblings; however, can and should remain the same.  We, as parents, can have a lasting influence in the development of these relationships as we encourage and nurture strong bonds between siblings.
Help Children to Discover and Value Who They Are Individually.   Each child is his or her own unique person.  Each has different strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, body builds, physical characteristics, personalities, talents, etc.  Encourage each child to discover his/her special identity.  At times it is easy for parents and children to label the family with an identity or characteristic when more than one family has a specific trait or interest (e.g. We are a musical family or a football family.)  Allow each child to be different and to develop his/her own sense of self.  Create a safe place for children to share openly and honestly their thoughts and feelings.  Listen to them and observe them.  Help each one to see the gifts and talents he/she has to offer and bring to his/her attention the unique gifts and talents his/her siblings have to offer.  Help each child to develop a security in who he/she is and see and accept who their siblings are.  As they do this they will not need to compare themselves to each other.  They will also learn to understand and appreciate the differences they observe in others.
Family Loyalty.  Help children develop loyalty to each other and the family.  Encourage and set the example of kind thoughts and actions towards each other.  Do not tolerate unkind and vulgar speech or actions towards any one, especially towards one another.  Teach them to share times of joy, happiness, and success with each other, as well as, times of sorrow, pain, and loss.  Give them opportunities to experience the love, joy, and power of family.
Don't Compare or Play Favorites.  Be sure to not exhibit favorites.  Grace may be the spelling bee champion; Aaron may be an expert about space launches; and Emma may be the best at gymnastics.  Each is OK, one is not more or less important than the other.  Be careful to not compare them or make one more important than the other, because this will create resentment and contention between them.
Opportunities to Become True Friends.   Create opportunities to strengthen bonds within the family.  We love and respect those we know.  Spend time together regularly, such as, eating meals, playing games, learning about new things, and exploring together.  Take the whole family to performances, educational, and sporting activities of each child.  Families support each other.  Celebrate successes together.  Celebrate holidays and establish traditions together as a family.  Take family vacations and trips as your schedules allow.
As an environment where children feel valued and safe is established, children will have the opportunity to learn who they are, value who they are, and to value others in their similarities and differences.  The experiences they have together and the value they feel for themselves and each other will help them to develop strong bonds of friendship with their siblings that will last throughout their lives.

What do you do to encourage strong bonds in your family?

Developing Self-Worth in Children-Things to Do

Children are full of wonder.  They are constantly asking questions, pondering things of their world in their minds, observing the world around them, planning how to do things, figuring what will work and what won't work, and trying to make the important people in their lives happy.  Granted, it doesn't always seem that way to us when they leave a trail of disaster behind them, but they didn't really wake up that morning and think, "What can I do to make life hard for people today."  The broken dish might have happened because they were trying to set the table or do the dishes to surprise you.  The glitter, glue, cut paper, and ribbons could merely be left from the birthday or Mother's Day card they were making to surprise you.   The dirt in the back seat of the car could have come from the flower that fell out of their hands when they were bringing it home for you.   At times like these, it may be our first reaction to be angry and upset because the dish was special to us, we just cleaned up the kitchen table, or we really didn't want dirt in the car.  However, it is important to learn to stop  and consider what has happened and why before we react.  How we respond to our children at these times can send a message to them that we don't want to send and really don't mean. Remember the saying, "What you do speaks so loudly that I don't hear a word you say!"  There is a lot of truth in that statement.  If you don't believe it, stop a minute and think of some of your experiences when you were misunderstood, when people were unhappy with you or your performance when you were trying very hard.
"Sometimes I can't help it," you may be saying and you are correct.  Sometimes things catch us off-guard, especially when we are really tired or under a lot of stress.  However, there are some things that we can do.  Here are a few:

• Take time often to ponder the value/worth of each of our children.  What are their strengths, weaknesses, the things they do that endear them to us, and what do they do that is hard for us. 
• Practice looking for the things they do well and letting them know when they do.  A simple "good job" goes a long way.  
• Notice and acknowledge their ideas.  Listen to their suggestions and ideas.  Encourage them.  If their idea doesn't work, don't put it down.  Find a way to acknowledge their idea and find a way or time it would work.  
• Decide what the most important principles are that you want them to learn in life and find ways to foster them in their every day life.  An example might be to learn to work hard so that they will be successful.  Think about ways to teach them how to work hard, not give up, etc. Set a good example yourself, encourage them, acknowledge them, and support them.  
• Let them know that they bring joy to your life.  Let them know when you especially enjoy something they did or said.  Laugh at their jokes, clap for their songs and performances, etc.  They want you to be happy with what they do.  
• Let them know that you love and appreciate them.  Tell them at least once a day that you love them and give them hugs.  Encourage them to tell you they love you and ask for hugs when you are having a hard day and could use one. 

One of the most basic elements in helping our children to develop self-worth is to realize how much we value them, how much we love them, what we love about them, and what they mean to us.  To do this it is important to take time to think about them and how precious they are.  

Kids Have Stress too!

Often we think children's lives are carefree and filled with play.  After all what do they have to worry about?  In reality, they do worry and feel stress-even very young children.
Stress has been defined as a function of the demands placed on us and our ability to meet them.  These demands come from outside sources such as family, friends, or school.  It can also come from within when children feel they are not doing what they should be doing instead of what they are doing or they may not feel they are doing something well enough.  At times they feel overwhelmed.  Preschoolers can feel uncomfortable and anxiety when they are separated from their parents.  As children get older, how well they are doing in school and social pressures create stress.

Sometimes children are too busy to play creatively or relax after school.  They may complain about or refuse to go to them.This may be a sign that they are over-scheduled.  If this is the case, it is important to take time to talk with them about how they feel about the extra activities.  It is vital to really listen to what they are saying.  A discussion of the pros and cons of the activity or activities will help both of you to understand the feelings they are experiencing.  The conclusion might be to stop an activity or to explore ways to help then manage their time and responsibilities to help lessen the anxiety they are feeling.

Children also worry and feel stress from things that are happening or they perceive to be happening in the world around them.  They might overhear adults talking about problems at work, illnesses of family members and friends, concern about financial matters, or arguments.
Local and world news can cause stress in children.  If they see disturbing images on TV or hear talk of natural disasters, war, and terrorism, it can cause them to worry and feel stress as they worry about their safety and the safety of those they love.  It is important to talk with they about what they see and hear, so you can talk with them and help them understand what's going on.

Signs and Symptoms
Sometimes it is not obvious when children are stressed out.  Some signs and symptoms might be:

• short-term behaviors changes like acting out, changes in sleep patterns, mood swings, or bedwetting
• more trouble concentrating and/or completing schoolwork 
• spending a lot of time alone
• withdrawing from regular activities
• stomachaches and headaches
• over reaction to minor problems
• nightmares
• becoming clingy
• drastic changes in academic performance
• new habits like thumb sucking, hair twirling, or nose picking
• older kids may begin to lie, bully or defy authority

Reducing stress

Children need help in learning how to cope with stress.  Some stress is normal.  It is important for children to know that it's OK to feel angry, scared, lonely, or anxious and that other people experience those feeling too.  However, they will be stronger and more confident as they learn to recognize when they are overly stressed, learn things they can do to reduce the stress, and know they can come to adults they feel are understanding and safe to help them. Some ways to help children reduce stress are: 

• be sure they get proper rest and good nutrition
• good parenting-make time each day for your children-make yourself available. It shows them they are important to you.
• talk with them about what may be causing their stress and help them come up with solutions that may help
• anticipate situations that may be stressful for them and prepare them for the situations
• learn and practice some tools like deep breathing, things they might use for self-talk, etc. when they feel excess stress
• reassure them by reminding them that you are confident they can handle the situation and that they will do well.

A key to recognizing and helping children learn to cope with stress is to be aware of them and be present to them and what is happening in their lives.  Notice and really hear what they are saying or not saying, doing or not doing, and take time to be with them.  Doing these things helps them feel secure, safe, and confident.  It also lets them know they are important.

Reducing Bullying in Schools/ Empowering Our Children

Dr, Ken Rigby, an authority on bullying and peer victimization, believes one of the ways in which school bullying can be reduced is by inducing children who observe bullying taking place at school to discourage it by the way they act. He believes it is a promising strategy for several of the following reasons:

1. Most bullying takes place when bystanders are present

2. When a bystander acts to discourage bullying there is a good chance (50%) the bullying will stop

3. Teachers and parents typically are not present nor are told about the bullying, so do not have the opportunity to take action.

4. A large proportion of children would like to see bullying stopped

Dr. Rigby believes that a good starting point for promoting positive bystander action by children lies in teachers and parents seeking to understand bystander situations from the children’s point of view and facilitating informed discussions about what they think should be done and how.

In these discussions teachers and parents can empower children in situations where they witness bullying or are being bullied. When the children have talked about bullying and being bullied, have some knowledge of bullies and their behaviors, and have possible responses for these situations, they are more confident and make better decisions.

Ways we can empower children to action when they are bystanders are:

• Help them see that their silence makes aggressive students more powerful and contributes to the harm done to the target

• Model positive behavior for them through our own actions

• Protect them from retaliation

• Discourage them from confronting aggressive youth directly about their behavior in most situations, but instead, help them find a wide range of safer and more effective interventions to use

• Encourage them to tell adults about the cruel behavior they see

• Help them find ways to reach out in friendship to targets of bullying and isolated peers

Ways we can empower children who are targets for bullies are:

• Mentor them and connect with them

• Increase supervision to protect them from future verbal and physical aggression and make sure adults welcome and act on their reports of future bad treatment

• Help them develop an answer to the question: “Why did he/she do that to me?” It should not be one that encourages them to blame themselves. One such answer is “ Some people like to being mean to others.”

• Involve them in expressive education/therapy where they can act, write, draw, and talk about their experiences

• Help they get support from others with similar histories

• Help them connect with a network of peer support and friendship

These things can be done in classroom meetings, school assemblies, and conversations with individuals. Parent can play a major role as they listen to and discuss these things with their children'

http://www.stopbullyingnow.com/bystanders.htm

October is Anti-Bullying Month: Facts About Bullying and Symptoms of Bully Victims

October is Anti-Bullying Month. While the information I am sharing is focused on schools and school aged children, it applies to a far broader spectrum. It is a topic that constantly needs to be addressed and evaluated.

If we would enter “bullying in schools” into google search, we might be surprised to find the amazing number of sites that would be there. When Dr. Ken Rigby, an authority on bullying and peer victimization, entered “bullying in schools” into his google search engine in November 2006, he learned there were approximately 2,760,000 sites on the topic. So much information can be overwhelming. However, as he has researched, he has found seven points of consensus in this information. They are:

• Bullying has been reported as occurring in every school k-12 which has been investigated

• Bullying can be direct or indirect and also physical, verbal, and gestural.

• There is no consistent evidence that bullying overall is increasing, however cyber bullying is an area of growing concern, especially among older students.

• Boys are bullied physically more often than girls. Girls are generally involved with indirect bullying.

• Bullying with younger children is generally more physical, while older children use more indirect and subtle forms of bullying which tend to occur more often.

• Children typically report being bullied less often as they get older, even though being victimized tends to increase when children enter secondary school.

• Being bullied at school typically has a negative effect on the physical and psychological well-being of children who are frequently and severely targeted.

Children don't always tell parents and/or adults in their lives that they are being bullied. How can we know if this is happening in their lives? Some symptoms that a child might be a victim of bullying are:

• acts moody, sullen, or withdraws from family interaction
• becomes depressed
• loses interest in school work, or grades drop
• loses appetite or has difficulty getting to sleep
• waits to use the bathroom at home (doesn’t use it at school)
• arrives at home or at school with torn clothes, unexplained bruises
• asks for extra money for school lunch or supplies, extra allowance
• refuses to go to school (15 percent of all school absenteeism is directly elated to fears of being bullied at school)
• wants to carry a protection item, such as a knife

Talk with your children and listen carefully. Bullying is very real and scary to the victim. They need a safe place where they know they are cared about, heard. and supported.

Another Aid in Helping Us Learn Easier and More Effectively

Are you right-handed? Left-handed? Are you right-brained? Left-brained? We all know if we are right-handed or left-handed. Many of us have also heard about left-brained or right-brained. What we may not know is that we also have a dominate foot, ear, and eye and that this information can help us to learn easier and/or better. Last week I took a Brain Gym class to learn more about this and how it impacts our learning.

One of the first things we did in class was to determine our personal unique learning style, based on the side of the brain, eye, ear, hand, and foot that is dominant for us. I found that I am "mixed". My dominate brain side is the right side (No surprise there!) with my dominate hand and ear being right also. However, my dominate eye and foot are on the left side. That gave me the appropriately named learning stye as "mixed". You may be thinking, : "Is that good?", "Is it bad?", "What does that mean?" It is like so many things about us. It is neither. However, having this information can give us insight about the way we learn and react to things.
Because each of us is unique, we do and see similar things differently. How often have we watched people load a dishwasher differently than we do, start to draw a picture in a different way than we would, or even put a picture puzzle together differently! As we learn more about our unique learning style, we are better equipped to learn. Some of the exciting things I learned in this class were: how we can learn to help children who struggle to learn more easily; that if we struggle, it doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with us, but it is just that we learn differently; and how movement, in this case using Brain Gym Activities, can help to access the whole brain resulting in more effective and easier learning;

Summer Break: Time to Begin!

Now it is time to put the family plan into action! You have decided what you want, met with the children, and made your family plan, the next step is to put it all into action.

It is best to just do it. Begin the first day of your break. If it has already started, begin now. It is easy to say, "We had a late (bad, or whatever) start, so we will begin tomorrow." You know about tomorrow, it never comes. Modify and begin where you are. Tomorrow can be better. It may take a few days. If it does, it does. But if you keep procrastinating, you may not do it and you won't receive your desired benefits. Just do it now!

A key to being successful in most anything is being consistent. The same is true in this situation. Hold to the guidelines or rules that you have established. When rewards are earned and deserved, be sure to reward. Immediate rewards are most effective, so reward as soon as possible. The same is true with negative consequences. If the guidelines are not being followed, follow through with what you said would be the consequence. When consequences are consistent, children know what is expected of them and what to expect. It gives them security and structure in their lives. When consequences aren't consistent, children can become confused as to what the rules are. They may test you to see if you mean what you say, but when you do, they know you are there for them. Be consistent.

As I said in the last post, evaluate periodically. Problem-solve and make alterations as seems wise. Praise and reward for the things that have gone well. You are on your way.

Have a great summer adventure!

Summer Break: Time to Begin!

Now it is time to put the family plan into action! You have decided what you want, met with the children, and made your family plan, the next step is to put it all into action.

It is best to just do it. Begin the first day of your break. If it has already started, begin now. It is easy to say, "We had a late (bad, or whatever) start, so we will begin tomorrow." You know about tomorrow, it never comes. Modify and begin where you are. Tomorrow can be better. It may take a few days. If it does, it does. But if you keep procrastinating, you may not do it and you won't receive your desired benefits. Just do it now!

A key to being successful in most anything is being consistent. The same is true in this situation. Hold to the guidelines or rules that you have established. When rewards are earned and deserved, be sure to reward. Immediate rewards are most effective, so reward as soon as possible. The same is true with negative consequences. If the guidelines are not being followed, follow through with what you said would be the consequence. When consequences are consistent, children know what is expected of them and what to expect. It gives them security and structure in their lives. When consequences aren't consistent, children can become confused as to what the rules are. They may test you to see if you mean what you say, but when you do, they know you are there for them. Be consistent.

As I said in the last post, evaluate periodically. Problem-solve and make alterations as seems wise. Praise and reward for the things that have gone well. You are on your way.

Have a great summer adventure!

Summer Break: Creating the Working Model with your Children

Now that you have your objectives and plan, you are ready to present them to your children, and to invite them to become a part in creating the actual working model. There are several things you might want to consider when you present the ideas.

• Bring to their attention the benefits they will receive-what they will get from it.
• Allow them to have some voice in the planning. You have your ideas and some of the things may be non-negotiable, however, they will have really good ideas, too. As you acknowledge their ideas with praise, they will offer more ideas and your planning sessions will be more and more productive.
• Be sure the plan is realistic.
• Build in some flexibility for days that will be different.
• Evaluate. Set a time to look at how the day(s)-week(s)-are going. It might be at the end of the first day, couple of days, week, or ... Are your objectives being met? Ask the children their opinion first. Be sure to praise their comments and the things that have gone well. If there are things that haven't gone well, ask how they think you, as a family, can improve them. Try different things. Sometimes it might be wise to allow your family to try suggestions that you don't think will work. The results will be that you are surprised as they do or it can be a great learning opportunity as they see the ideas didn't work and can find a different way to approach the situation. Discourage anyone from saying, "I told you so!"
• Reward all in some way for the successes that you are experiencing.

When children are a part of the decision making, they gain confidence, learn to brainstorm and problem solve. The result will be that they follow the plan-their plan-more easily.

Enjoy and have fun as you work together!!!

Summer Break: Creating Your Plan

You have decided some things you would like your children to do this summer and the atmosphere you would like in your home. How can you structure the days and weeks to successfully reach those objectives?

One good way is to create a comfortable, but firm, structure for each day. Determine a time frame and responsibilities for each person. It is best to have a routine. Your day can be as detailed and structured as you want it to be. An more loosely structured example might be:

· Awake and out of bed by 8 am

· Eat breakfast, put dishes in the dishwasher

· Get dressed.

· Check list of chores on frig.

· Complete chores by 10 am.

· Free time

· Lunch at noon. Check schedule for responsibility

· Quiet time til 1:30 This could be time for reading, academic skills, nap, etc.

· Dinner 6 pm

· Bath and bed 9:30 pm

It is vital that your goals and expectations are clear. KIS is also good advice here. Think your plan through, write it down (Remember it is only a wish, if it isn’t written down. We know what happens with wishes.), and compare it with your goals. Some questions to ask yourself are: Will this plan bring the goals to reality? Does it support what I want? Am I being reasonable? Is it too much? Do I need more details or expectations?

Tip: Brain Gym PACE would be a great item to put into your schedule. It can help get the day off to a more smooth and focused start, will be great during a quiet time or when working on academic skills, and will help when tension creeps into the day.

Summer Break: What is it going to be Like ar Your Home?

When summer break comes, children are not on their regular schedule. As a result, the whole family can be affected. If they go to a daycare or babysitter while you work each day, things may be much the same. However, if not, life can be very different.

Children need structure and are happier when they have it. Sometimes we think and may say, they have been in school and need a break. That is true. They have and do. However, they thrive when they have some kind of schedule. To create yours, determine what you would like your life to be like with them at home. Some question to consider might be: Do I want them to be up by a certain time? Do I want them to do daily and weekly chores? When would I like they completed? What guidelines do I want to have concerning meals? Some items to address might be time, preparation, clean-up, etc. Do I want them to read and do other activities to maintain their academic skills while away from the classroom?

As you take some time to seriously consider these types of things, make a plan to incorporate them, and follow your plan you may be surprised with the results. When structure, responsibility, and purpose are incorporated in children’s lives, their self-esteem flourishes. They are more positive, easier to motivate, happier, and more fun.

Next: “I know what I want, how do I make a plan so that I will get the results I want?"