Stress has been defined as a function of the demands placed on us and our ability to meet them. These demands come from outside sources such as family, friends, or school. It can also come from within when children feel they are not doing what they should be doing instead of what they are doing or they may not feel they are doing something well enough. At times they feel overwhelmed. Preschoolers can feel uncomfortable and anxiety when they are separated from their parents. As children get older, how well they are doing in school and social pressures create stress.
Sometimes children are too busy to play creatively or relax after school. They may complain about or refuse to go to them.This may be a sign that they are over-scheduled. If this is the case, it is important to take time to talk with them about how they feel about the extra activities. It is vital to really listen to what they are saying. A discussion of the pros and cons of the activity or activities will help both of you to understand the feelings they are experiencing. The conclusion might be to stop an activity or to explore ways to help then manage their time and responsibilities to help lessen the anxiety they are feeling.
Children also worry and feel stress from things that are happening or they perceive to be happening in the world around them. They might overhear adults talking about problems at work, illnesses of family members and friends, concern about financial matters, or arguments.
Local and world news can cause stress in children. If they see disturbing images on TV or hear talk of natural disasters, war, and terrorism, it can cause them to worry and feel stress as they worry about their safety and the safety of those they love. It is important to talk with they about what they see and hear, so you can talk with them and help them understand what's going on.
Signs and Symptoms
Sometimes it is not obvious when children are stressed out. Some signs and symptoms might be:
- short-term behaviors changes like acting out, changes in sleep patterns, mood swings, or bedwetting
- more trouble concentrating and/or completing schoolwork
- spending a lot of time alone
- withdrawing from regular activities
- stomachaches and headaches
- over reaction to minor problems
- nightmares
- becoming clingy
- drastic changes in academic performance
- new habits like thumb sucking, hair twirling, or nose picking
- older kids may begin to lie, bully or defy authority
Reducing stress
Children need help in learning how to cope with stress. Some stress is normal. It is important for children to know that it's OK to feel angry, scared, lonely, or anxious and that other people experience those feeling too. However, they will be stronger and more confident as they learn to recognize when they are overly stressed, learn things they can do to reduce the stress, and know they can come to adults they feel are understanding and safe to help them. Some ways to help children reduce stress are:
- be sure they get proper rest and good nutrition
- good parenting-make time each day for your children-make yourself available. It shows them they are important to you.
- talk with them about what may be causing their stress and help them come up with solutions that may help
- anticipate situations that may be stressful for them and prepare them for the situations
- learn and practice some tools like deep breathing, things they might use for self-talk, etc. when they feel excess stress
- reassure them by reminding them that you are confident they can handle the situation and that they will do well.
A key to recognizing and helping children learn to cope with stress is to be aware of them and be present to them and what is happening in their lives. Notice and really hear what they are saying or not saying, doing or not doing, and take time to be with them. Doing these things helps them feel secure, safe, and confident. It also lets them know they are important.
