Testing-Tips for Relieving Stress and Increasing Confidence

Spring is officially here! The grass is greener, blossoms are in full array, and the weather is warmer!  Most spring breaks are over and students are headed for the final lap of the school year (or term).  It is time to complete all projects and testing is at hand.  Too many times the words "testing" bring stress.  As we know stress left to itself does not help us, in fact, it can hinder and be unhealthy. There are things we can do to help alleviate stress and be more powerful and confident.  Here are some tips to assist:

• Several nights of good rest.  We all behave differently when we are sleepy or tired. Adults usually become sluggish when tired while children tend to overcompensate and speed up. (In a study involving 2,463 children aged 6-15, children with sleep problems were more likely to be inattentive, hyperactive, impulsive, and display oppositional behaviors.) Do your best to insure a good night of sleep and, if possible, several nights as you move into testing time.
• Eat breakfast. Even though breakfast time can be hectic and rushed, it is important to have breakfast. Two rules for breakfast are:
• Never skip it!
• It must include protein! 

          If you and/or your children do not like the typical breakfast food? That is fine. Last night's left                 over tuna casserole or a peanut butter sandwich will be fine. For other suggestions for                         breakfast see "Healthy Breakfast Ideas" under Topics.

•  Sip water-stay hydrated.  Sipping water is more effective than drinking in gulps. Some of the benefits of sipping water:
• All academic skills are improved when we are adequately hydrated. 
• Water intake is vital before test-taking or at other times when possible stress is anticipated. (Has your mouth ever gotten dry when you are nervous?)
• Sipping water helps to improve concentration. 
• It improves mental and physical coordination.
• Movement-Our bodies were made to move.  Have you noticed that when you feel tired or bored, you feel better and more alert when you get up and move around-even if it is just a walk to get a drink of water.  The  advise to take a walk (or run around) is often given when we need a break, to calm down, or to get our "creative juices" flowing.  Any kind of movement is helpful, but some may be better than others.  Brain Gym activities are good ones and can be specialized. (See test-taking and Brain Gym in "topics" for details.)  Yoga moves are also suggested. The important thing is to move.  As you do, you can let go of stress and prepare your brain to work easier and better.
• Deep breaths- Slow deep breaths can be beneficial as we calm our minds and bodies.  This helps get more oxygen moving in your body. The most effective way:
• Take breath in slowly through the nose (with your tongue on the roof of your mouth).
• Fill up the lower lungs (If you are raising your shoulders, you aren't getting it deep.)
• Hold it while you count slowly.  
• Release the breath slowly through your mouth.  

         Do this until you feel a shift or change. It should be at least 3-5 times.   If you do positive                      affirmations, this is a good time to use them.  

         Now is a good time to begin to practice and prepare.  Try to practice some or all of these tips every day-so they will be familiar when you feel extra tension.

Children Developing Self-Worth - a Personal Observation

In the last few weeks, I have had the opportunity to spend time with my youngest grandchildren, ages 10 months to 4 years in age.  I have enjoyed interacting with them, but I have also appreciated the opportunity to observe them as they played, investigated, and problem-solved in their wonderful world of inquiry.  I noticed how the older ones have learned to navigate safely in their environment including steps, sofas, chairs, beds, uneven land, and other things.  The 10 month old is fearlessly learning those things as she anxiously presses forward in broadening her skills.
As I watched them, I was aware of the look of satisfaction and accomplishment their little faces showed when they were successful.  An experience with the 10 month old was particularly insightful.  She loves to put blankets in front of her eyes and over her head and then peek out.  One day she had a larger fleece throw.  She was doing the same as always, until her hands moved toward the center of the cover.  She would move the cover almost to the edge and then pull the other way.  I watched as she worked at it.  Since I didn't want her to become frightened, after numerous tries I helped a little but in a way she didn't realized.  She pulled the cover off and I said the traditional "peek" several times, then I noticed how proud she was.  Her little face beamed.  I clapped, she clapped, and we celebrated her success.  The real reward I experienced was seeing her so happy and proud of herself as she was successful and to see her self-worth grow.  The thought reinforced itself that afternoon that we are instrumental in the development of children's self-worth.  How we interact with them as they learn, problem-solve, and investigate the world in which they live makes a difference in how they see themselves.  
How can we do that?

Self-Worth-Choosing to Be Happy-4 More Ways

Today I want to share four more important considerations in developing and maintaining healthy beliefs and practices for self-worth.

• Replace perfectionism.  Perfectionism is destructive in our daily lives.  We can take action yet very rarely or never be satisfied with our results, but instead, we can add more negative feelings about ourselves.  We might become paralyzed from taking any action, because we are afraid of not living up to some standard we have set for ourselves.  Another might be that we procrastinate, so that it is impossible to get the results we want.  In any case, our feelings of self-worth suffer.                             How can we replace our perfectionism with wiser choices? 
• Decide to go for good enough.  A trap with perfection is that often it is never finished, because if we do one more thing it will be better.  Make it really good, but realize that there is a good enough and then it is finished.
• Perfection has myths in it. Remember that buying into those myths will likely hurt us and the people in our life.  We need to simply remind ourselves that life isn't like a movie, book, etc. where things are "perfect".  Also reality can be different that our expectations, some things just can't be predicted.  Also we need to be aware that clinging on to perfection can lead to endings of relationships, jobs, etc.
• STOP falling into the comparison trap.  When we compare ourselves and our lives to other people and their lives, we will never win.  If we are fair, we will realize we don't compare fairly and, in reality, we don't know what is really happening in other people's lives.  Also there will always be someone who has more or better than we feel we are.  This is another habit that is better replaced.  To do this we can look at how far we have come.  When we compare ourselves to us, we will be able to see the improvements we have made and what next steps we might want to make  This can motivate us and raise our feelings of self-worth.
• Be Cautious of our environment, spend more of our time in supportive environments.  Even if we focus on being kinder towards others and ourselves and replace a perfectionist habit, it will be hard to keep our self-worth up, unless our environment supports us.  It will be a challenge if there are strong influences in our daily environment that put us down.  We need to be aware of the input we are receiving.  Are there unkind, unsupportive people in our life?  If so, we can choose to spend less time with them and spend more time with positive, uplifting people who have kinder standards and ways of thinking about things and will be more supportive of our goals and dreams.  Also we need to be aware of what we are listening to, read, and watch and spend less time with things that lead us to be unsure of and negative towards ourselves.  Use that time to spend on information that helps us feel good about us and what our goals are.
• Remind ourselves often of why self-worth is important.  The simplest way to stay consistent in doing something is to remember why we are doing it.  So as we seek to build and maintain our feelings of self-worth, remember the reasons that are important. What are they?  Back on February 25th, the following reasons were listed:  
•  Our lives becomes simpler and lighter.  
• We have more inner stability.  
• We have less self-sabotage.  
• We will be more attractive in any relationship.    
• We will be happier.

We might want to place our reasons where we can refer to them often!