Feelings of Humility and Responsibilit

Feelings of Humility and Responsibility

I love this picture of the beautifully painted evening sky.  A feeling of humility comes over me each time I see it.  As I look closely, I can see the tiny plane so small amid the clouds.  It is so small that it can be missed and seem insignificant.  I am reminded that the same can be said of each of us.  We, not even a pinpoint in a scene like this, are so small, yet the truth is we are not insignificant.  

Each of us is important and holds within us the ability and power to do amazing things that influence those around us and far beyond.  Our influence begins where we are and travels outward in waves, like dropping a pebble in still water.  We cannot know how far or where that influence travels.  With that ability and power of influence comes the responsibility to choose the influence we send forth.  To what influence will we add our power?  The choice is ours.

Even though we are tiny in comparison to the world around us, we do make a difference.

Self-worth-We Are a Miracle

I love this. 

It is so easy for each of us to be critical 

of ourselves and fail to see the beauty 

and miracle of our own being. 

Each of us is truly a miracle because we are!

Take time today to look for 

and acknowledge 

your uniqueness and beauty.

Diversity-the Great Wonder of You

This scene is composed of a multitude of different colors, sizes, shapes, textures, elements, etc.  If it had just one of color, size, shape, texture, or element, the scene would be totally different.  If there were even two or five, it would be less interesting, awesome, and magnificent.  It takes the combination of the diverse multitude working in harmony to create this intriguing scene.  That is why thousands of people travel great distances to come to this area for the experiences that await them.  The diversity of these colors, shapes, elements, etc. plus the endless possibilities as they are combined gives those who come pleasure, satisfaction, and wonder.
The same is true of people.  Each person is a complex combination of many emotional, physical, intellectual, social, and spiritual  traits and characteristics partnered with memories, choices, and experiences.  No two are alike.  Sometimes we forget how truly amazing and magnificent we truly are.  We can't comprehend the beauties of earth with one click of our camera or even one brief visit, likewise, we can't comprehend and appreciate our own beauty and distinct uniqueness without getting to know and understand ourselves. It takes time, study, pondering, and discovery to begin to appreciate just how beautiful and special we really are.  Take the time to discover and appreciate the multitude of characteristics- the diversity, the wonder and beauty of you!

Sara Banister
underthelearningtree.blogspot.com

Unlimited Possibilities Are Ours!

Our possibilities 

are as endless as 

the stars in the sky.

Sometimes, maybe even often, we feel limited in our choices, but the truth is our choices and possibilities are like the stars in the sky.  They are endless.  

Creation begins in our minds. 

Practice creating.  

The possibilities are as unlimited as our minds will allow.

Sara Banister
underthelearningtree.blogspot.comm

Self-Respect

Self-respect is a determining factor in our self-worth.  To have healthy self-worth, it is necessary to respect ourselves.  What does self-respect mean to us?  What requirements do we have to have in order to respect ourselves?  Are they reasonable?  (Remember we don't have to be perfect.  No one is.)  Are they the same every day?  Are they the same for us as they are for others?  Can we consider respecting ourselves just because we are (exist)?

It is essential to know and remember who we are.   Each of us is one of a kind, a unique individual with talents, skills, and qualities that no one else has in the same combination.  We are wonderful, valuable, and woth-while.  We are enough, we have enough, and we do enough.  We make a difference in our lives and in the lives of those around us.

It is vital that we respect and honor ourselves.  We really do deserve both.  As we do, we will walk taller, hold our head higher, walk with a bounce in our step, smile wider, our eyes will sparkle, our voice will be stronger, and our thoughts and comments will be uplifting.  When we have self-respect, it is visible in all that we do, say, and thi

Sara Banister

underthelearningtree.blogspot,com

We Make the Decision. We Hold the Power!

This one is sometimes hard to grasp or accept, but it is true.  It's important for us 

to "really get" or understand that we are truly the one in control.  

How we perceive or accept any comment whether it be praise or criticizm is totally 

up to us.  Likewise, we feel less or inferior only if we choose to do so.  

It is up to us to evaluate the validity of the comment or act and give it meaning.  

We make the decision.  

We hold the power!

Sara Banister

underthelearningtree.blogspot.com

You Are Worthy!

Know who you are.  

You are unique, a "one of  kind".

You are the only one anywhere that has your wonderful combination of gifts and talents! 

Know your value and worth. 

You are worthy!

Sara Banister

underthelearningtree.blogspot.com

You Hold the Power

We determine whether to be happy or not and how much.  So many times we say, "He made me mad." or "She made me feel bad ."  The truth is we are the ones who choose our reaction to things which people say, people do, and things that happen. Much of the time we aren't really aware of the power we have. It depends on what we want, how much responsibility we are willing to take, and how determined we are to create our feelings of value and self-worth.   How we feel about our value/worth plays a significant role in directing our paths and making those choices.  What are you choosing?  You hold the power!

                                                                                Sara Banister

                                         underthelearningtree.blogspot.com

It's what we truly believe that counts!

 

This is so true.  We can say whatever, but when we are honest with ourselves, it is what we believe we are that rings true in our hearts.  

Sara Banister

underthelearningtree.blogspot.com

Who Are You, Really?

This is pretty profound when we stop to think about it.  How often do we hold ourselves back because we see ourselves as inadequate in one way or another?
Let's do things a little differently for an hour, a day, or a week.
When we find ourselves thinking of why something won't work, let's change our point of view.  Let's immediately drop that conversation and think of the reasons it will work.
Suggestion:  write them down to reflect on.

Sara Banister

underthelearningtree.blogspot.com

You Do Make a Difference!

Too often we feel that we are unimportant and that who and what we are and do makes no difference. However, that is simply not true!  

We do make a difference, just as the pebble affects the water in which it is cast!

Sara Banister

underthelearningtree.blogspot.com

Self- Worth

You are of infinite worth and value! 

Let your light be a beacon for others!

Sara Banister

underthelearningtree.blogspot.com

Who Are You?

You are the best and most perfect you. 

There is no one else in existence with your special qualities!

Sara Banister

underthelearningtree.blogspot.com

Encouraging Siblings to Build Strong Relationships with Each Other

Learning life skills and building relationships is a life-long journey.  While we learn these skills in all aspects of our lives, the home and family is the most influential and powerful place to develop and mature. As our children grow, we are extremely busy teaching and helping them to develop many important skills and characteristics.  Because so much is happening, one area that sometimes falls aside and doesn't get a great deal of attention is the development of strong, binding relationships between siblings. We know the parent-child relationship is vital.  The nature of this relationship is that parents teach and help the child grow so that the child becomes more self-sufficient and independent eventually forming families of their own.  The dynamics and nature of the roles change over the years.  Unlike the parent-child relationship, the role of siblings; however, can and should remain the same.  We, as parents, can have a lasting influence in the development of these relationships as we encourage and nurture strong bonds between siblings.
Help Children to Discover and Value Who They Are Individually.   Each child is his or her own unique person.  Each has different strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, body builds, physical characteristics, personalities, talents, etc.  Encourage each child to discover his/her special identity.  At times it is easy for parents and children to label the family with an identity or characteristic when more than one family has a specific trait or interest (e.g. We are a musical family or a football family.)  Allow each child to be different and to develop his/her own sense of self.  Create a safe place for children to share openly and honestly their thoughts and feelings.  Listen to them and observe them.  Help each one to see the gifts and talents he/she has to offer and bring to his/her attention the unique gifts and talents his/her siblings have to offer.  Help each child to develop a security in who he/she is and see and accept who their siblings are.  As they do this they will not need to compare themselves to each other.  They will also learn to understand and appreciate the differences they observe in others.
Family Loyalty.  Help children develop loyalty to each other and the family.  Encourage and set the example of kind thoughts and actions towards each other.  Do not tolerate unkind and vulgar speech or actions towards any one, especially towards one another.  Teach them to share times of joy, happiness, and success with each other, as well as, times of sorrow, pain, and loss.  Give them opportunities to experience the love, joy, and power of family.
Don't Compare or Play Favorites.  Be sure to not exhibit favorites.  Grace may be the spelling bee champion; Aaron may be an expert about space launches; and Emma may be the best at gymnastics.  Each is OK, one is not more or less important than the other.  Be careful to not compare them or make one more important than the other, because this will create resentment and contention between them.
Opportunities to Become True Friends.   Create opportunities to strengthen bonds within the family.  We love and respect those we know.  Spend time together regularly, such as, eating meals, playing games, learning about new things, and exploring together.  Take the whole family to performances, educational, and sporting activities of each child.  Families support each other.  Celebrate successes together.  Celebrate holidays and establish traditions together as a family.  Take family vacations and trips as your schedules allow.
As an environment where children feel valued and safe is established, children will have the opportunity to learn who they are, value who they are, and to value others in their similarities and differences.  The experiences they have together and the value they feel for themselves and each other will help them to develop strong bonds of friendship with their siblings that will last throughout their lives.

What do you do to encourage strong bonds in your family?

Developing Self-Worth in Children-Things to Do

Children are full of wonder.  They are constantly asking questions, pondering things of their world in their minds, observing the world around them, planning how to do things, figuring what will work and what won't work, and trying to make the important people in their lives happy.  Granted, it doesn't always seem that way to us when they leave a trail of disaster behind them, but they didn't really wake up that morning and think, "What can I do to make life hard for people today."  The broken dish might have happened because they were trying to set the table or do the dishes to surprise you.  The glitter, glue, cut paper, and ribbons could merely be left from the birthday or Mother's Day card they were making to surprise you.   The dirt in the back seat of the car could have come from the flower that fell out of their hands when they were bringing it home for you.   At times like these, it may be our first reaction to be angry and upset because the dish was special to us, we just cleaned up the kitchen table, or we really didn't want dirt in the car.  However, it is important to learn to stop  and consider what has happened and why before we react.  How we respond to our children at these times can send a message to them that we don't want to send and really don't mean. Remember the saying, "What you do speaks so loudly that I don't hear a word you say!"  There is a lot of truth in that statement.  If you don't believe it, stop a minute and think of some of your experiences when you were misunderstood, when people were unhappy with you or your performance when you were trying very hard.
"Sometimes I can't help it," you may be saying and you are correct.  Sometimes things catch us off-guard, especially when we are really tired or under a lot of stress.  However, there are some things that we can do.  Here are a few:

• Take time often to ponder the value/worth of each of our children.  What are their strengths, weaknesses, the things they do that endear them to us, and what do they do that is hard for us. 
• Practice looking for the things they do well and letting them know when they do.  A simple "good job" goes a long way.  
• Notice and acknowledge their ideas.  Listen to their suggestions and ideas.  Encourage them.  If their idea doesn't work, don't put it down.  Find a way to acknowledge their idea and find a way or time it would work.  
• Decide what the most important principles are that you want them to learn in life and find ways to foster them in their every day life.  An example might be to learn to work hard so that they will be successful.  Think about ways to teach them how to work hard, not give up, etc. Set a good example yourself, encourage them, acknowledge them, and support them.  
• Let them know that they bring joy to your life.  Let them know when you especially enjoy something they did or said.  Laugh at their jokes, clap for their songs and performances, etc.  They want you to be happy with what they do.  
• Let them know that you love and appreciate them.  Tell them at least once a day that you love them and give them hugs.  Encourage them to tell you they love you and ask for hugs when you are having a hard day and could use one. 

One of the most basic elements in helping our children to develop self-worth is to realize how much we value them, how much we love them, what we love about them, and what they mean to us.  To do this it is important to take time to think about them and how precious they are.  

Self-Worth-Developing Children: Some things to Avoid

Sometimes in our busy lives, we may not realize our comments and reactions to seemingly every day happenings can have a destructive impact on others around us, especially our children.  We would never knowingly hurt their feelings or harm them, yet sometimes an off-handed comment does just that.  It hurts them deeply and harms their self-worth, leaving them feeling or doubting their value and capabilities.

More obvious things to not do:

•  Say "You are dumb (or ugly, or stupid)".  
• "Can't you ever do anything right" can slip out of our mouths if we aren't careful.  As soon as it blazes out, we might know it was not wise and that we didn't really mean it.  
• Compare one child to another, especially siblings.  "I wish you were more like your brother or sister" can be crushing to the child and at the same time destroy rather than build sibling relationships. 
• When children have tantrums and in their frustrations say something like, "I hate you!"  or "I don't love you." It is important to be sure to not reply with anything like it back. Instead we can explain again why we are doing what we are doing and reassure them that we do and will always love them, even if they are angry with us.  
• Never tell children anything like we don't love them or wish they had never been born.  They, like all of us, need to know they are loved and wanted especially when they make mistakes.

Some not so obvious comments that are also destructive:

• Doing too much for children.  Often we want to show our love for our children, by doing things for them.  However, it can have the opposite meaning for them.  It can mean to them that they aren't capable.  It is helpful to break larger or more advanced tasks into kid-friendly tasks giving them the opportunity to be successful and feel self-satisfaction and independence.  
• Telling children "That's easy" when they are struggling with a task.  Even saying "That is easy, you can do it" when it is not easy for them can lead them to think something is wrong with them because it isn't easy for them.  A better comment might be "This can be a rough one." Then when they do accomplish it, they can tell themselves that they did something that was hard.  If they don't complete it, they know it was harder to begin with.  
• Don't  "freak out" when children make mistakes.  We all make mistakes.  They will make them too.  Usually it will be at an inconvenient time.  Resist the impulse to "freak-out".  Resist the urge to rescue them.  Instead stay calm. teach them how to arise to the situation by acknowledging they made the mistake and how to make amends.  This allows them to feel good about themselves and who they are as they become accountable for their mistakes.  It also helps them form healthy attitudes without making judgments such as making mistakes is a part of life and does not make me a bad person.  

Children Developing Self-Worth - a Personal Observation

In the last few weeks, I have had the opportunity to spend time with my youngest grandchildren, ages 10 months to 4 years in age.  I have enjoyed interacting with them, but I have also appreciated the opportunity to observe them as they played, investigated, and problem-solved in their wonderful world of inquiry.  I noticed how the older ones have learned to navigate safely in their environment including steps, sofas, chairs, beds, uneven land, and other things.  The 10 month old is fearlessly learning those things as she anxiously presses forward in broadening her skills.
As I watched them, I was aware of the look of satisfaction and accomplishment their little faces showed when they were successful.  An experience with the 10 month old was particularly insightful.  She loves to put blankets in front of her eyes and over her head and then peek out.  One day she had a larger fleece throw.  She was doing the same as always, until her hands moved toward the center of the cover.  She would move the cover almost to the edge and then pull the other way.  I watched as she worked at it.  Since I didn't want her to become frightened, after numerous tries I helped a little but in a way she didn't realized.  She pulled the cover off and I said the traditional "peek" several times, then I noticed how proud she was.  Her little face beamed.  I clapped, she clapped, and we celebrated her success.  The real reward I experienced was seeing her so happy and proud of herself as she was successful and to see her self-worth grow.  The thought reinforced itself that afternoon that we are instrumental in the development of children's self-worth.  How we interact with them as they learn, problem-solve, and investigate the world in which they live makes a difference in how they see themselves.  
How can we do that?

Self-Worth-children

Self-Worth of Children

When did we begin to develop our self-worth?  How did we develop it?  I have been learning and observing thoughts and ideas and theories related to these questions for a long time. Some children, as well as adults, do know and understand that they are valuable and worthwhile.  They are confident, capable, problem-solving, independent children.  Others do not.  They lack the confidence in themselves and their abilities to move forward in their lives.  They wait and depend on others to tell them what, when, and how to do things.  Some are fearful of life and most things in their lives and "shut down" rather than move onward. 

Why are they so different?  

Do we as parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, friends, neighbors, teachers, etc. 

play a role in the development of self-worth of the children around us?  

If so, how?  

As I have thought about these questions and observed children, their parents, and others working with them, I am sure we do.  

It is simply how we think, feel, and treat them.  

I will be posting about this topic next.  

Self-Worth in Children

I am wonderful, valuable, worthwhile, and lovable, 

just because I AM

Be Happy

You are the one who decides.

Decide to be Happy!