Feelings of Humility and Responsibilit

Feelings of Humility and Responsibility

I love this picture of the beautifully painted evening sky.  A feeling of humility comes over me each time I see it.  As I look closely, I can see the tiny plane so small amid the clouds.  It is so small that it can be missed and seem insignificant.  I am reminded that the same can be said of each of us.  We, not even a pinpoint in a scene like this, are so small, yet the truth is we are not insignificant.  

Each of us is important and holds within us the ability and power to do amazing things that influence those around us and far beyond.  Our influence begins where we are and travels outward in waves, like dropping a pebble in still water.  We cannot know how far or where that influence travels.  With that ability and power of influence comes the responsibility to choose the influence we send forth.  To what influence will we add our power?  The choice is ours.

Even though we are tiny in comparison to the world around us, we do make a difference.

Unlimited Possibilities Are Ours!

Our possibilities 

are as endless as 

the stars in the sky.

Sometimes, maybe even often, we feel limited in our choices, but the truth is our choices and possibilities are like the stars in the sky.  They are endless.  

Creation begins in our minds. 

Practice creating.  

The possibilities are as unlimited as our minds will allow.

Sara Banister
underthelearningtree.blogspot.comm

Self-Respect

Self-respect is a determining factor in our self-worth.  To have healthy self-worth, it is necessary to respect ourselves.  What does self-respect mean to us?  What requirements do we have to have in order to respect ourselves?  Are they reasonable?  (Remember we don't have to be perfect.  No one is.)  Are they the same every day?  Are they the same for us as they are for others?  Can we consider respecting ourselves just because we are (exist)?

It is essential to know and remember who we are.   Each of us is one of a kind, a unique individual with talents, skills, and qualities that no one else has in the same combination.  We are wonderful, valuable, and woth-while.  We are enough, we have enough, and we do enough.  We make a difference in our lives and in the lives of those around us.

It is vital that we respect and honor ourselves.  We really do deserve both.  As we do, we will walk taller, hold our head higher, walk with a bounce in our step, smile wider, our eyes will sparkle, our voice will be stronger, and our thoughts and comments will be uplifting.  When we have self-respect, it is visible in all that we do, say, and thi

Sara Banister

underthelearningtree.blogspot,com

We Make the Decision. We Hold the Power!

This one is sometimes hard to grasp or accept, but it is true.  It's important for us 

to "really get" or understand that we are truly the one in control.  

How we perceive or accept any comment whether it be praise or criticizm is totally 

up to us.  Likewise, we feel less or inferior only if we choose to do so.  

It is up to us to evaluate the validity of the comment or act and give it meaning.  

We make the decision.  

We hold the power!

Sara Banister

underthelearningtree.blogspot.com

You Hold the Power

We determine whether to be happy or not and how much.  So many times we say, "He made me mad." or "She made me feel bad ."  The truth is we are the ones who choose our reaction to things which people say, people do, and things that happen. Much of the time we aren't really aware of the power we have. It depends on what we want, how much responsibility we are willing to take, and how determined we are to create our feelings of value and self-worth.   How we feel about our value/worth plays a significant role in directing our paths and making those choices.  What are you choosing?  You hold the power!

                                                                                Sara Banister

                                         underthelearningtree.blogspot.com

It's what we truly believe that counts!

 

This is so true.  We can say whatever, but when we are honest with ourselves, it is what we believe we are that rings true in our hearts.  

Sara Banister

underthelearningtree.blogspot.com

You Do Make a Difference!

Too often we feel that we are unimportant and that who and what we are and do makes no difference. However, that is simply not true!  

We do make a difference, just as the pebble affects the water in which it is cast!

Sara Banister

underthelearningtree.blogspot.com

Self- Worth

You are of infinite worth and value! 

Let your light be a beacon for others!

Sara Banister

underthelearningtree.blogspot.com

Event: Introduction to Brain Gym Workshop

Introduction to Brain Gym

Fun and Empowering

 Learn to Do Things Easier and Better

Doing Our Best vs Trying

NEW!  INTRODUCTION TO BRAIN GYM® 

SATURDAY, JUNE 25, 2016

8:30 am-3 pm

Introduction to Brain Gym® is a 6 hour course (1 day) for those who have had little or no experience with Brain Gym® but would like to learn more.   Come experience Brain Gym® and obtain skills that will enhance your performance and bring personal power into your life!

Cost $99.

• Early Bird or Buddy Discounts available when registering 30 days early accompanied by a non-refundable deposit of $15:  Cost $89
• Both Early Bird or Buddy Discounts when registering 30 days early accompanied by non-refundable deposit of $15:   Cost $83

Registrations for discounts due on or before: Monday, May 30, 2016

Full amount due on or before:  Saturday, June 18, 2016

To register email: underthelearningtree@gmail.com

Who Are You?

You are the best and most perfect you. 

There is no one else in existence with your special qualities!

Sara Banister

underthelearningtree.blogspot.com

Teaching and Guiding Children As They Learn to "Work Out" Differences

Encouraging Siblings to Build Strong Relationships: Conflict Resolution

In every relationship disagreements/conflicts occur.  Sometimes they are minor and sometimes they are "out of control".  What can we do when disagreements or conflicts arise?  How can we handle those situations? Sometimes we may be tempted to ignore them and hope they go away.  The truth is problems don't go away. They usually get worse.  The best solution is to face the problem, so it can be sorted out as soon as possible.   

One of the best ways to solve a disagreement is to find a way to help the unhappy people find a win/win in the situation.  This solution finds the opportunity for each person to get something they want in a fair way.  In order for this approach to be successful each person must be willing to work together and stay as calm as possible.  Using the conflict resolution method there are four steps to successfully resolve conflicts. First each person must understand about the problem.  Next avoid making the situation worse and encourage working together.  Lastly, find a solution to the conflict.  While this method is not always easy with practice, patience, and perseverance siblings can learn to work together in harmony.

Understand the Conflict.  To successfully resolve a problem, each individual involved needs to understand what the disagreement is about, including the mediator.  Communication is a key factor in this step.  Each person needs to be encouraged to describe and discuss his/her feelings and perspective without being interrupted or belittled.

Listening is a large part of communication.  When a person listens to others, it shows respect and that he/she has a desire to really understand the way the other sees the situation.  When he/she listens and tries to understand their perspective, it helps to find a resolution to the disagreement/conflict.  While listening, it is helpful to use active listening techniques such as looking at the person talking, nodding the head acknowledging that the person is heard, or repeating what the person understood in their words to be sure they heard what was being said.

Avoid Making the Situation Worse.   One important step in resolving conflict is to ensure that the situation does not get worse.  To accomplish this step, it is important to establish and maintain some basic rules in communication.  These rules might include:

• No put-downs.
• No mean, nasty remarks that would hurt someone's feelings.
• No screaming or shouting.  All communication needs to be in controlled voices.  
• No hitting, kicking, pushing, or any kind of hurting the other person's body.

Work Together.  Using "I" statements is a way that can help individuals to work together more amicably. Statements such as "I feel hurt when..." or "I hear what you are saying, but I feel ..." followed by the way he/she feels, without blaming others helps to work towards more understanding of each persons' feelings and perspective.  An example is:  "I feel sad and afraid when you shout." rather than "Your shouting makes me sad and afraid."  Those communicating should take turns speaking and it may be wise to determine a time limit for each person before beginning so that everyone gets a fair opportunity.  The communication can move more smoothly when everyone keeps their voices down.  In some instances, it can be more effective for each person to write the problem as he/she sees it and then read what the other has written.  

Find a Solution.  Once each person has the opportunity to share his/her feelings and the disagreement/conflict is understood by everyone, it is time to begin to brainstorm together to think of ways to find a solution.  It is best to think of many possibilities to ensure that every option is considered.  Sometimes the one that seems unlikely or not possible at first could turn out to be one that works.  It is important that each person and their contribution be shown respect.  It is also a good idea for someone to write the suggestions down as they are given so that the conflict can be resolved successfully.

The possible outcomes are: win/win; win/lose and lose/lose.  Win/win is when all are comfortable and pleased with the outcome.  Win/lose is when one gets what they want and others do not get what they want. Lose/lose is when no one gets what they want.  Once a solution that all have agreed on is reached, it is the responsibility of each person to carry out his/her part.  

This process is not easy, sometimes the process needs to begin again to try to improve it.  Some of the steps may need to be practiced in other settings.  Learning to use "I" statements can be an effective way of communicating in most situations to avoid offending others and as a statement of power for the individual using them.  Taking the time to listen to what others are really saying and meaning can keep things from escalating into a bigger problem,  It is always wise to avoid making matters worse when possible.  

The important thing is to not give up!  The more everyone practices these steps the better they get at using them and the quicker and easier they can find solutions--especially win/win solutions!

"Encouraging strong, healthy relationships between siblings can be one of the greatest gifts parents can give their children."  

Encouraging Siblings to Build Strong Relationships with Each Other

Learning life skills and building relationships is a life-long journey.  While we learn these skills in all aspects of our lives, the home and family is the most influential and powerful place to develop and mature. As our children grow, we are extremely busy teaching and helping them to develop many important skills and characteristics.  Because so much is happening, one area that sometimes falls aside and doesn't get a great deal of attention is the development of strong, binding relationships between siblings. We know the parent-child relationship is vital.  The nature of this relationship is that parents teach and help the child grow so that the child becomes more self-sufficient and independent eventually forming families of their own.  The dynamics and nature of the roles change over the years.  Unlike the parent-child relationship, the role of siblings; however, can and should remain the same.  We, as parents, can have a lasting influence in the development of these relationships as we encourage and nurture strong bonds between siblings.
Help Children to Discover and Value Who They Are Individually.   Each child is his or her own unique person.  Each has different strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, body builds, physical characteristics, personalities, talents, etc.  Encourage each child to discover his/her special identity.  At times it is easy for parents and children to label the family with an identity or characteristic when more than one family has a specific trait or interest (e.g. We are a musical family or a football family.)  Allow each child to be different and to develop his/her own sense of self.  Create a safe place for children to share openly and honestly their thoughts and feelings.  Listen to them and observe them.  Help each one to see the gifts and talents he/she has to offer and bring to his/her attention the unique gifts and talents his/her siblings have to offer.  Help each child to develop a security in who he/she is and see and accept who their siblings are.  As they do this they will not need to compare themselves to each other.  They will also learn to understand and appreciate the differences they observe in others.
Family Loyalty.  Help children develop loyalty to each other and the family.  Encourage and set the example of kind thoughts and actions towards each other.  Do not tolerate unkind and vulgar speech or actions towards any one, especially towards one another.  Teach them to share times of joy, happiness, and success with each other, as well as, times of sorrow, pain, and loss.  Give them opportunities to experience the love, joy, and power of family.
Don't Compare or Play Favorites.  Be sure to not exhibit favorites.  Grace may be the spelling bee champion; Aaron may be an expert about space launches; and Emma may be the best at gymnastics.  Each is OK, one is not more or less important than the other.  Be careful to not compare them or make one more important than the other, because this will create resentment and contention between them.
Opportunities to Become True Friends.   Create opportunities to strengthen bonds within the family.  We love and respect those we know.  Spend time together regularly, such as, eating meals, playing games, learning about new things, and exploring together.  Take the whole family to performances, educational, and sporting activities of each child.  Families support each other.  Celebrate successes together.  Celebrate holidays and establish traditions together as a family.  Take family vacations and trips as your schedules allow.
As an environment where children feel valued and safe is established, children will have the opportunity to learn who they are, value who they are, and to value others in their similarities and differences.  The experiences they have together and the value they feel for themselves and each other will help them to develop strong bonds of friendship with their siblings that will last throughout their lives.

What do you do to encourage strong bonds in your family?

Developing Self-Worth in Children-Things to Do

Children are full of wonder.  They are constantly asking questions, pondering things of their world in their minds, observing the world around them, planning how to do things, figuring what will work and what won't work, and trying to make the important people in their lives happy.  Granted, it doesn't always seem that way to us when they leave a trail of disaster behind them, but they didn't really wake up that morning and think, "What can I do to make life hard for people today."  The broken dish might have happened because they were trying to set the table or do the dishes to surprise you.  The glitter, glue, cut paper, and ribbons could merely be left from the birthday or Mother's Day card they were making to surprise you.   The dirt in the back seat of the car could have come from the flower that fell out of their hands when they were bringing it home for you.   At times like these, it may be our first reaction to be angry and upset because the dish was special to us, we just cleaned up the kitchen table, or we really didn't want dirt in the car.  However, it is important to learn to stop  and consider what has happened and why before we react.  How we respond to our children at these times can send a message to them that we don't want to send and really don't mean. Remember the saying, "What you do speaks so loudly that I don't hear a word you say!"  There is a lot of truth in that statement.  If you don't believe it, stop a minute and think of some of your experiences when you were misunderstood, when people were unhappy with you or your performance when you were trying very hard.
"Sometimes I can't help it," you may be saying and you are correct.  Sometimes things catch us off-guard, especially when we are really tired or under a lot of stress.  However, there are some things that we can do.  Here are a few:

• Take time often to ponder the value/worth of each of our children.  What are their strengths, weaknesses, the things they do that endear them to us, and what do they do that is hard for us. 
• Practice looking for the things they do well and letting them know when they do.  A simple "good job" goes a long way.  
• Notice and acknowledge their ideas.  Listen to their suggestions and ideas.  Encourage them.  If their idea doesn't work, don't put it down.  Find a way to acknowledge their idea and find a way or time it would work.  
• Decide what the most important principles are that you want them to learn in life and find ways to foster them in their every day life.  An example might be to learn to work hard so that they will be successful.  Think about ways to teach them how to work hard, not give up, etc. Set a good example yourself, encourage them, acknowledge them, and support them.  
• Let them know that they bring joy to your life.  Let them know when you especially enjoy something they did or said.  Laugh at their jokes, clap for their songs and performances, etc.  They want you to be happy with what they do.  
• Let them know that you love and appreciate them.  Tell them at least once a day that you love them and give them hugs.  Encourage them to tell you they love you and ask for hugs when you are having a hard day and could use one. 

One of the most basic elements in helping our children to develop self-worth is to realize how much we value them, how much we love them, what we love about them, and what they mean to us.  To do this it is important to take time to think about them and how precious they are.  

Self-Worth in Children

I am wonderful, valuable, worthwhile, and lovable, 

just because I AM