Encouraging Siblings to Build Strong Relationships with Each Other

Learning life skills and building relationships is a life-long journey.  While we learn these skills in all aspects of our lives, the home and family is the most influential and powerful place to develop and mature. As our children grow, we are extremely busy teaching and helping them to develop many important skills and characteristics.  Because so much is happening, one area that sometimes falls aside and doesn't get a great deal of attention is the development of strong, binding relationships between siblings. We know the parent-child relationship is vital.  The nature of this relationship is that parents teach and help the child grow so that the child becomes more self-sufficient and independent eventually forming families of their own.  The dynamics and nature of the roles change over the years.  Unlike the parent-child relationship, the role of siblings; however, can and should remain the same.  We, as parents, can have a lasting influence in the development of these relationships as we encourage and nurture strong bonds between siblings.
Help Children to Discover and Value Who They Are Individually.   Each child is his or her own unique person.  Each has different strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, body builds, physical characteristics, personalities, talents, etc.  Encourage each child to discover his/her special identity.  At times it is easy for parents and children to label the family with an identity or characteristic when more than one family has a specific trait or interest (e.g. We are a musical family or a football family.)  Allow each child to be different and to develop his/her own sense of self.  Create a safe place for children to share openly and honestly their thoughts and feelings.  Listen to them and observe them.  Help each one to see the gifts and talents he/she has to offer and bring to his/her attention the unique gifts and talents his/her siblings have to offer.  Help each child to develop a security in who he/she is and see and accept who their siblings are.  As they do this they will not need to compare themselves to each other.  They will also learn to understand and appreciate the differences they observe in others.
Family Loyalty.  Help children develop loyalty to each other and the family.  Encourage and set the example of kind thoughts and actions towards each other.  Do not tolerate unkind and vulgar speech or actions towards any one, especially towards one another.  Teach them to share times of joy, happiness, and success with each other, as well as, times of sorrow, pain, and loss.  Give them opportunities to experience the love, joy, and power of family.
Don't Compare or Play Favorites.  Be sure to not exhibit favorites.  Grace may be the spelling bee champion; Aaron may be an expert about space launches; and Emma may be the best at gymnastics.  Each is OK, one is not more or less important than the other.  Be careful to not compare them or make one more important than the other, because this will create resentment and contention between them.
Opportunities to Become True Friends.   Create opportunities to strengthen bonds within the family.  We love and respect those we know.  Spend time together regularly, such as, eating meals, playing games, learning about new things, and exploring together.  Take the whole family to performances, educational, and sporting activities of each child.  Families support each other.  Celebrate successes together.  Celebrate holidays and establish traditions together as a family.  Take family vacations and trips as your schedules allow.
As an environment where children feel valued and safe is established, children will have the opportunity to learn who they are, value who they are, and to value others in their similarities and differences.  The experiences they have together and the value they feel for themselves and each other will help them to develop strong bonds of friendship with their siblings that will last throughout their lives.

What do you do to encourage strong bonds in your family?