Building Self-Worth in Children-2 Basics

How we interact with children as they learn, problem-solve, and investigate the world in which they live makes a difference in how they see themselves.  It makes a difference in their self-worth.  Today I want to share two tips that I feel are basic to help children build strong self-worth.

Set children up to succeed.  It is important to teach children how to become self-reliant.  How proud they are when they can do things for themselves!  They stand a little taller, their smiles are a little wider, and sometimes they even shout-it-out and give high-fives!  It might be easier to do for them and even difficult to refrain from helping them when they struggle, however, it is important to allow them to be successful.  An example, begin when they are young to teach them how to move about on their own safely.  When they begin to show an interest in the stair steps and in moving from the sofa to the floor, take the time and patience to talk with them and show they how to put their bellies down and their feet first off the sofa and allow their bodies to follow.  They will need some reminders and practice to become proficient. They easily learn to respond to a simple reminder like "feet first".  With the steps, they again put their bellies down and feet first when going down the steps.  Before long they are crawling up and down the stairs in a safe manner.  As they get older, allow them to do more tasks, such as fix their snacks or simple lunches, keep their rooms picked up, or help parents and older siblings with various tasks.  Take the time to teach them how you want them to learn to do the task.  They need to know the expectations. Then as they gain skills, allow them to do them on their own. 

Praise children.  It is equally important to give praise.  A simple "good job"  can be very powerful.  Children want to know how you thought they did, as well as, how they think they did.   If they don't feel they did something as well as you did or you wanted, they may need some reassurance and encouragement.  Remember most of us don't do things perfectly the first times, but we get better the more we do them.  If it doesn't turn out the best, don't "freak out".  In fact, if it is really bad, don't "freak out".  We all have those times and usually they aren't as bad as we first may think they are.  Remain calm and immediately begin looking for the things that were done correctly and give praise for that.  Help them see the things they did that were correct and how they are improving as they continue to do them.  It is vital that the praise is sincere and honest.