October is Anti-Bullying Month: Facts About Bullying and Symptoms of Bully Victims

October is Anti-Bullying Month. While the information I am sharing is focused on schools and school aged children, it applies to a far broader spectrum. It is a topic that constantly needs to be addressed and evaluated.

If we would enter “bullying in schools” into google search, we might be surprised to find the amazing number of sites that would be there. When Dr. Ken Rigby, an authority on bullying and peer victimization, entered “bullying in schools” into his google search engine in November 2006, he learned there were approximately 2,760,000 sites on the topic. So much information can be overwhelming. However, as he has researched, he has found seven points of consensus in this information. They are:

• Bullying has been reported as occurring in every school k-12 which has been investigated

• Bullying can be direct or indirect and also physical, verbal, and gestural.

• There is no consistent evidence that bullying overall is increasing, however cyber bullying is an area of growing concern, especially among older students.

• Boys are bullied physically more often than girls. Girls are generally involved with indirect bullying.

• Bullying with younger children is generally more physical, while older children use more indirect and subtle forms of bullying which tend to occur more often.

• Children typically report being bullied less often as they get older, even though being victimized tends to increase when children enter secondary school.

• Being bullied at school typically has a negative effect on the physical and psychological well-being of children who are frequently and severely targeted.

Children don't always tell parents and/or adults in their lives that they are being bullied. How can we know if this is happening in their lives? Some symptoms that a child might be a victim of bullying are:

• acts moody, sullen, or withdraws from family interaction
• becomes depressed
• loses interest in school work, or grades drop
• loses appetite or has difficulty getting to sleep
• waits to use the bathroom at home (doesn’t use it at school)
• arrives at home or at school with torn clothes, unexplained bruises
• asks for extra money for school lunch or supplies, extra allowance
• refuses to go to school (15 percent of all school absenteeism is directly elated to fears of being bullied at school)
• wants to carry a protection item, such as a knife

Talk with your children and listen carefully. Bullying is very real and scary to the victim. They need a safe place where they know they are cared about, heard. and supported.